I am convinced by the weather forecasting combined with my umbrella carrying schedule that God has the same sense of humor as the jerk you knew in high school who would quickly, in a low tone, rattle off the phrase "A spincter says what," and even though it's not a question the jerk raises his voice at the end to indicate he expects you to respond.
Why does it never rain when the forecast calls for rain, but I am carrying my umbrella? Why does all the rain come when I am not carrying? Granted, it has rained today and recently but the rain has been almost completely absent when I've needed to be outside. Thus, irrefutable proof that God is a jerk.
Though, I think saying God is a jerk is an oversimplification. The Bible would have us believe that God made us in His image. What is scientifically more plausible is that We made god in Our Idealized image. Which is to say, We figured out all the least jerk-worthy traits were and then assigned them to the god character to make an example for Our children. Of course, the children don't need to know the actual truth about god's origin story... kinda like Marvel dug its heels for thirty years before it gave Wolvereine a proper origin... because the god character is meant to teach lessons of mortality, ethics, and generally not being a dick.
Which is why having god be an all-powerful deity was kind of a bonehead move. If We acknowledged that god has no more influence over the weather than we do (not counting the Chinese, who employed weather control methods during the most recent Olympics) then I couldn't blame him for this umbrella problem.
But I digress... I am actually happy it doesn't rain on me. I just wish rain would actually come when I'm outside AND carrying my umbrella. Real rain, too, not this wimpy Bullshit Seattle continuous dizzle crap.
That's all I have to say about that.
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